Dave and I both want a dog and tonight we might make our wish come true. As with everything Dave is calm and collected and I am nervous and indecisive. Sometimes dreaming is better than reality...I am hoping not in this case. I finally came to the conclusion that if even if we bring the dog home it is not permanent like becoming a parent. We can bring the dog back if it absolutely doesn't work, although I am not the type of person that likes giving up too easily. I know owning a dog takes time and energy. I just hope I have enough to give to this little puppy.



Growing up I had three dogs, two of which we had for 6 years or more. Daisy was a my first experience with a dog. She was a Spaniel mix. I loved her very much and I was only 6 or 7 when she passed away. My next dog was Puppy and was a Pekingese. We had him for a very short time and I never had a good bond with this dog. It was this experince that made me realize that I am not a small dog kind of person. My mother remarried when I was a freshman in highschool and into my life came Prince, a sweet and loving Old English Sheep Dog. Prince, by far was my favorite dog, even though he was actually my stepfather's pet. At first I might have been more excited about getting a new dog than my mom remarrying. Don, my stepfather was a sweet man, I was just more interested in animals. I gave Prince many baths. He would not step in and out of the bathtub, so I remember lifting this horse of a dog in and out of dirty dog water many times. He often slept at the foot of my bed. Prince knew when to be calm, but also loved playing fetch in our backyard...a perfect dog.



In the next few hours we will decide between Charile and Benjamin, since both dogs are on hold until 6 p.m. tonight. Both seem like they will be medium sized adult dogs, but Charlie does seem bigger. Charlie seemed calmer, but also more nervous. Benjamin interacted more with Calvin and Elliot and was happy to have attention from anyone, even our kids. After Elliot wakes up from his nap the kids and I are going to visit Charlie again to see if we can get him to open up a little more. I hope to bring him outside and see him play and loosen up a bit.

Why do I always feel overwhelmed?

I don't know if it is my personality or how I deal with stress, but I always feel overwhelmed. Sometimes Dave says "Rochelle, calm down," as he hugs me and rubs my back. Of course I could never be as calm as him. I usually feel as if my life is a hurricane and once in a while I can calm it down to a heavy rain storm. I do have those quiet moments to read a book or draw a picture but it seems too rare. I am not sure why I expect my life to be calm and quiet, since I have two exhurberant boys. Maybe that is what needs to change, my expectations. The Lord gave me two healthy boys. I should be grateful and try to embrace what I have. Prayer for today: "Lord, instead of murmuring swear words when I am frustrated with my children or my life, instead help me turn to you for peace and remember that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength."